Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
