Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Is Oprah even human
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
