had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize