and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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