what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
