It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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