It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
