Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
