Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Is Oprah even human
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
