Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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