i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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