He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So apparently I’m into choking now
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
