i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My life is pants optional.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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