My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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