I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
