I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
