Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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