The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
