its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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