love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
