god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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