i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
jump out the window naked night went bad
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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