we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize