I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
