And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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