remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize