I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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