My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
