Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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