I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
