I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
