The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize