Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
