Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
