Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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