i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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