so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
