her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
