I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
