Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
