I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
