the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
