there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
