I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
