Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
the gays at disneyland are vicious
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
