saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
