Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I looked at my own cervix.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
