They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
