remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
