i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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