The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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