WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize