is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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