I think my vagina is haunted
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
even my farts smell like vagina
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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