I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Randomize
