I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
