"it" just moved
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
