quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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