Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i believe in u and ur pee
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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