We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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