I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
