i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
