Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
