yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
